Friday, June 29, 2012

don't let it get you down

today.  today, i fully intended to get things done.

and i was doing things.

but then, i fell in a hole.  i fell in a hole of neil young music.  it started with someone posting a thirty minute concert video on facebook.

after listening to the whole thing, twice, i descended into a a two hour long voyage into neil young's song catalog.  and after that...i went and bought some beer.  because no more work was even going to be attempted.

then i called an old friend.  years ago, a decade or more, on those rare days when nether of us were working a double shift at the restaurant...we would sit on the porch and drink all day.  and listen to neil young.

and so i called him, because he's the person i think of when i hear neil young.  always.  i think of us drinking cheap beer and talking about philosophy (he loved hegel) and smoking cigarettes and playing cards.  and fighting.

i liked him a lot.  we were such good friends.  then i found out that he liked me and i balked.  while i was thinking about things, he met someone.  then i realized i liked him.  and then he met someone else.  and then i really liked him, but also someone else too.  and so it went.

long story short, it never really happened with us.  we had some fights.  we didn't speak for long periods of time.

then, we eventually became friends again.  i still care so much about him.  the idea of 'us' is not ever possible, but he is one of my favorite people.

and so there i was calling him.  asking him did he remember all those times.  and he did.  and did he also remember when he said that every girl he knew was associated in his mind with a particular neil young song and that mine was 'like a hurricane' but i wanted to be 'cowgirl in the sand'....he said he didn't remember.  he was more than likely drunk, but he laughed that my song was 'like a hurricane' and said that sounded right, but that i could be the cowgirl if i wanted.

but i know he was right the first time.

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