Monday, May 28, 2012

coordination over markets, bitches.

i have certain places that i go to get certain things.  i don't deviate.   it's because once you establish the transactional relationship and supplement that with pleasant (or at least consistent) interaction, then you will be able to get what you want much more efficiently.  i like that.  i also like consistency.

case in point:

yesterday i went to the chaat shop to buy some spicy cashews and spicy almonds.  basically, they cover the nuts with really hot indian spices and roast them.  they are one of my favorite things to eat. there are several chaat shops in my town.  i only ever go to this one, though.  it's because i like the lady who runs it.  she's very not into superficial pleasantries, not to mention the fact that there is a substantial language barrier between her and i.  don't get me wrong, her english is far better than my hindi will ever be, it's just we can't really have an extensive conversation.  she has, however, warmed to me over the past couple of years. 

anyway.  usually there aren't that many people in the shop and the people that are there are just getting snacks, so you don' really have to wait. yesterday, however, there were people full on grocery shopping.  first, i was waiting be hind this family that had their teenage son hold their place in line, while they were steadily adding an item after item at intervals of time.  just as the woman would get close to finishing ringing the items up, they would add three more. so that was just straight annoying.

during this time a line was forming behind me to the left of the register.  except for one woman, who felt that she would stand to the right of the register.  while it was hard to tell whether she or i was next in line, it was easy to tell that she felt that she was there first. whatever.  she only had two things, so...i really didn't care if she went first.  however, things started to get annoying as we got closer to the counter and she began a conversation in hindi with the woman behind me.  and then this woman uses this as an excuse to start edging me out of the line.  and she had a ton of things.  and they kept looking at me.  and edging me out of line.

so, finally, after a few (as in 10 or so) last minute additions, the never ending basket is emptied and paid for.  the women are still talking excitedly to each other in hindi in front of me. the woman behind the counter looks past them, at me, and is like "ma'am, you know what you want?"  which of course i do.  i paused for a second to give the other women a chance to say they were first, but they kept talking and i stepped between them to the counter.  i could tell that they weren't that happy about that, but there wasn't anything they could do. 

the woman behind the counter got my spicy cashews and  spicy almonds for me.  in separate bags.  just as i like them.  

"you like spicy," she remarked.  i do.  so very much. "ah, very good, very good," she replied.  we wished each other happy weekend and i left.

i love her.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

bb cream is the fucking truth

*not the bb cream i use

over the past year or so, i have become addicted to beauty products.  i think this partly because i try to make myself feel good by buying things that make me look good and partly because i am getting old (er).

i woke up one day and my pores are these gaping holes in my face, whereas before i never noticed them.  there are lines in my forehead.  when i pull my hair back to wash my face, there are grey hairs.  and not just one.  i'm scared i'm going to wake up one morning and find that i have become a silver fox overnight.

one product i have found to be amazing is bb cream.  i bought it without any idea that bb cream is actually its own thing.  i thought it was just the name of the stuff i bought.  after a little research, i found out that it is the secret of korean actresses.  this is how their skin looks like plastic.  it smooths lines, it corrects color, it moisturizes, it protects me from the sun's harmful rays (cause i bought one with spf 45).  it's like putting on another layer of skin.   

a big shout out to korea for giving the world something other than my worthless ex-boyfriend.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

a uterus with legs

one of my sisters once worked for a woman who encouraged her to call in on the first day of her period, because women should only rest on that day.  i could not agree more.  sadly, however, the rest of the world hasn't quite caught up to this sort of progressive thinking.

so this last week has been beyond stupid.  cramps.  tears.  extreme fatigue.  and, the absolute worst...weight gain.

i'm starting to panic about my weight.  it's been really volatile the past week and half.  i'm up at least five pounds.  i was stressed when i stepped on the scale after a week only to see that my weight had shot up during the night after learning that (supposedly) the lightest you are in the whole month is on the day after your period stops.  but, as it turned out, my period wasn't over.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

on putting yourself in the place of the other

right now, i feel like the next person who asks me if i'm a mother is going to wish they hadn't.  i understand that mothers are super important.  you will find no stronger advocate of women's rights, especially in the areas of women's health and reproductive freedom.

all i'm saying is, think before you speak.  just for like ten seconds or so.  longer if you need more time.  but just think about the other person's feelings and the different emotions that they might be experiencing today, when everyone is going around celebrating a life decision that not everyone had made.  or even may have been able to make.

there are a lot of reasons that a person might not have children.  maybe they can't.  maybe they've tried and tried.  maybe they just terminated a pregnancy.  maybe their child died.  maybe they haven't met the right person to have children with yet. maybe she's waiting to adopt.  or maybe they just don't want them.

there are many reasons and they are all fine.

if you see a woman with children with her or it's someone you know who has kids, feel free to wish away.  i called my mom and my sister. but if you don't know someone's situation,  your well-intentioned wishes might be something very painful to to that woman.

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