i went out last night with a guy that i used to really like. ten years ago, the only thing i wanted was for him to ask me out. or to want to hang out. or do whatever college kids do when you're seeing each other. i mean, i really liked this guy.
a lot can change in a decade. feelings especially.
i wasn't feeling anything. except discomfort. extreme discomfort.
leave it to me to take what could be a perfectly good time and make it a painful, awkward experience. being out with someone on something that was a really strange cross between a date and two old friends hanging out was simply more than i'm capable of right now. i wanted to go home before i even left the house.
so for all my talk about practical love and giving people a chance and remaining open....if the vibes aren't there, it's not for me. i just can't fake it.