Sunday, July 17, 2011

fruits of my superficial vine

ever have one of those days when it was all worthwhile? a day when every sacrifice big and small seems totally worth it and not such a big deal after all?

i finally had one of those days.

i was at the origins counter at macy's. i was there to buy some of the new spot remover.

i had to wait at the counter, while the woman working there was demonstrating some product on a customer who was cashing in on the free facials.

the facial woman asks the salesgirl about the spot remover, "does it work?"


the salesgirl says "of course it does. look at her [my] skin, it's perfect. you can't see one blemish."

finally. the obsessive-compulsive skin care regimen that i strictly adhere to has paid off. at. fucking. last.

it was the best day of my life.

Monday, July 11, 2011

a prickly situation

so i mentioned before that i love to eat clams straight out of the shell. it is the most satisfying thing in the world, next to boba of course.

but in thinking about this satisfaction and its root causes, i came to the conclusion that no matter how satisfying there is something inherently violent about ripping something out of its home with your mouth. and then eating it. and loving the experience.

so i took this to a new level...

at the restaurant, in addition to the extraordinary shellfish selection, they were also featuring sea urchin. apparently, it is in season. also, it was something i have never tried, although i have eyed it leeringly at the sushi bar.

so the way it works is, you basically pick a sea urchin out of the tank, which is located strangely (or not) between the quahogs and the mollusks, and the crack it open on the spot and hand you a spoon.

no big deal, right? but dig this...


the whole time you are scooping out its internal whatever, savoring its pudding-y texture and briny aftertaste, the sea urchin is moving its spines to and fro. at first i was ok with this as i thought it was just some sort of neurological sensory delay and that the waving was just some sort of uncontrolled spasm.

not. fucking. so.

if you put your finger near the spines, it would grab onto it.

yes. that is correct. you hear me right. it would latch onto your finger. intentionally.

i'm not sure how to feel about this. even though i have been assured from an extremely reliable source that uni have NO central nervous system whatsoever, i still am not sure if it is right. i'm not sure at all.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

the cockles of my heart

yesterday, i went to the best place ever.

it was like heaven. delicious, steamed, shellfishy heaven.

i can't remember if i've mentioned this or not, but i have a major thing for shellfish. particularly, clams and mussels. most particularly clams. and most especially if those clams are in the shell.

i went to a restaurant where they had tanks of seafood from which you selected your meal.

they had every kind of clam. cherry stone. qoahogs. cockles. littlenecks. manilas. could mix and match from the tanks and the guy would steam them on the spot. so i ordered as many clams as i thought i could reasonably eat/share. it was just like heaven.

there is something so immensely satisfying about sucking them out of the shells. i can't explain it. i like the way the shells click against my teeth. and the texture of the clam is perfect to me. there is something about mussels and i only am in the mood for them some of the time and only if the sauce they are served in is really good. and i find oysters to be far too gooey for my liking.

but i think clams are perfection. big or small, i love them all. at this restaurant there was no sauce. just freshly steamed clams. and lemon. and my true happiness.

and that's not all...stay tuned to find out what happened when i encountered a prickly ethical dilemma re: my lunch....

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

the british are coming....bitch.

if someone asked me about a historical event, particularly concerning american politics, my explanation would probably sound something like this...

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